Campaign Chaos: VIP Podium Collapses During Pro-Jonathan Rally In Niger

The seating area for the dignitaries who attended the rally reportedly caved in causing injuries to some of them….

 

Confusion reigned supreme in Niger state today during a political rally organized by the Transformation Ambassadors of Nigeria (TAN) when a podium on which VIPs were seated collapsed.

The rally took place at the Minna Trade Fair Complex today, September 13, 2014 and was organized to campaign for the re-election of President Goodluck Jonathan.

However, while the event was ongoing, the platform on which top government officials and chieftains of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) were seated on suddenly caved in,Premium Times reports.

This caused panic in the arena and many of the attendees reportedly ran for their lives after the unfortunate incident.

According to reports, an unidentified number of people were injured and they have been taken to a hospital.

The Senator representing the Federal Capital Territory, Gabriel Aduda, reportedly said:

“Whatever happened here, the devil is a liar. No weapon fashioned against us and Jonathan shall succeed. What happened was because the crowd was too much.”

However, the event was said to have continued after alternative seating arrangements were made for the guests.

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Akpors the bad Samaritan

Akpors was in his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
AKPORS: Why are you eating grass?
POOR MAN: I don’t have any money for food.
AKPORS: Oh, please come to my house!
POOR MAN: But sir, I have a wife and four children…
AKPORS: Bring them along! They all climbed into the limousine. They begin to leave
POOR MAN: Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in.
AKPORS: No, problem. I like feeding the hungry. The grass at my house is over five feet tall, it will be enough for you and all of your family members!.”

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Akpors the fake Americana

After two weeks in Dubai, Akpors came back to Naija with a fake American accent. He flew in late and while on his way home was stopped by men of the Nigeria Police Force.”Hey, where u dey go? one of the officers asked Akpors. Stupid Akpors instead of replying decided to try out his new fake way of talking replied: “Wat de f*ck do u mean, Yo talking tu me?” This got the officers angry and they dragged Akpors to the station and threw him in a cell.
There in the cell, Akpors kept on ranting and shouting, “Yo bunch of shits, I gat the damn right to make a phone call in this cell. Get me a f*cking phone!!” This went on until a BOSS (Oga) in the cell told one of his boys in his husky and thunderous voice, “Scorpion, abeg give this guy one phone call”. Scorpion headed straight to Akpors’ corner and landed him a THUNDEROUS SLAP” GBOOOOAAAAAAA”. The sound was nothing far from the sound of a Thunder strike, and then he asked Akpors “bros, e done dey ring, abi make I redial?”
Akpors’ accent quickly changed and he replied: “Bros abeg, e don connect”

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Akpors the gold digger

Akpors was having a serious quarrel with his girlfriend one day, angrily he ordered “go pack all your clothes and…” he got interrupted by her ringing phone. She picked and put it on loud speaker because she was furious and pacing up and down; it was her elder brother in the UK saying he has paid £300,000 to her account and instructed her to withdraw £100,000 for her boyfriend. She thanked her brother and hung up, then she turned to her boyfriend Akpors and said ‘go ahead, you were saying I should pack my things?’
Akpors: Hehehe, my love, I was saying that I don’t like the fact we were quarreling, and that you should pack your things and give them to me so I’ll wash everything for you.

One word for Akpors?

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Akpors and the policeman

A policeman finds little Akpors wandering the streets lost one day and tries to help him trace his home.

POLICE: Little boy, where do you live?

AKPORS: With my parents.

POLICE: Where do your parents live?

AKPORS: With me.

POLICE: (getting irritated) Where do you all live?

AKPORS: Together.

POLICE: Oh my goodness, so where is your house?

AKPORS: Next to my neighbour’s house.

POLICE: (angrily) Where is your neighbour’s house?

AKPORS: hehehehe…if I tell you, you won’t believe me.

POLICE: (feeling a bit relieved) I will, go ahead, tell me.

AKPORS: Next to my house!!!

Policeman gives up!

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Akpors checks his result

Akpors no go kill person oh. He sent his JAMB registration number to his friend, Ochuke, to help him check his result at a cybercafe.
After some minutes Ochuke sent him the breakdown of his result in a text message as follows:
English – 12
Commerce – 39
Government – 41
Economics – 29
Aggregate – 121
Immediately he sent it Akpors called him back in a harsh tone;
Akpors: Ochuke! which kain nonsense JAMB dey do self? Dis no b my result nah. Why dem com put Aggregate for me give me 121 on top wetin I no write, see my English wey I suffer write na only 12 dem give me; wetin be dis na?
Ochuke: *speechless*
And that was the day Ochuke completely gave up on his friend Akpors!

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Akpors and the teacher’s

Atheist Teacher: Do you believe in God?
Akpors: Of course sir.
Atheist Teacher: Well have you ever seen God?
Akpors: No
Atheist Teacher: Then there is no God.
Akpors: Hmnn, excuse me sir, but have you ever seen your brain?
Atheist Teacher: What?? Of course not.
Akpors: Then you have no Brain.

One word for Akpors this time around?

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Dencia Shares 1st Look of ‘Vibrating Vagina Washer’ – Her Latest Product!

 The Nigerian-Cameroonian singer has unveiled yet another interesting creation…

Dencia is a fast rising entrepreneur!

The singer made waves with Whitenicious earlier this year and now she’s shared a first look of the Vibrating Vagina Washer.

We told you all about this new product in April, when she announced it on her Instagram page – click here to catch up.

Her caption for the photo above,

“First look at the vibrating vagina Washer by Dencia is here … #stoked…#LadiesAreYouReady #JustGotBackToLAAndWorkIsHere #TimeToCleanYourPimPim #ItsForExternalUseNotInternal #IntimateCare #DenciaDidThat @VVWBD”

We wonder if this product will sell out like Whitenicious. Will you be buying?

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Akpors’ logic

After writing the most awful exam in his life, Akpors offered his Professor a deal to save his grades:

“If you can answer just one question, I will accept my final marks, if you can’t, you have to give me an ‘A’.”
The Professor agreed.
Akpors asked: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal and neither legal nor logical?”

The Professor thought about it for hours and pondered but found no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave Akpors an “A”.

The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He picked one of them.

The student answered: “Sir, you are 65, married to 28-year-old woman, this is legal, but not logical.
“Your wife is having an affair with a 23-year-old boy, this is logical but not legal.
“Your wife’s boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an “A”, this is neither logical nor legal.”

The professor fainted!

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Beautiful Brows Nigeria launches Makeup Franchise in Africa | Uti & Kayla to Host the Product Launch Event

 

It is indeed a proud moment for Beautiful Brows Nigeria to announce the official launch of the number one franchise of Beautiful Brows UK in Africa beginning with Nigeria. Beautiful Brows is a Specialist UK Cosmetic Company who manufacture and retail bespoke, high quality eyebrow essentials. Beautiful Brows works to ease you the stress of going to the salon or spa to define your brows that’s why we have decided to introduce a #DoItYourSelfBrowKit that helps keep your brows in shape.

Giveaway Campaign
Beautiful Brows Nigeria has decided to do a giveaway campaign which started on Thursday to winners of the #IAMBEAUTIFUL Selfie Competition onInstagram which ends on Saturday 13th of September by 12am. To participate all you need do is to follow the Instagram handle – @beautifulbrowsng then upload a defined brows selfie with the Hashtag #IAMBEAUTIFUL @beautifulbrowsng the most liked picture gets to win at the end of each day. The prize is a free #BBNBrowKit and tickets to the launch.

The Launch Event
There will be Free #BrowMakeOvers and Sampling, Renowned Makeup artistsBayo Haastrup and Lola Maja will be unveiling the Beautiful Brows Kit alongside celebrity makeup artist Dave Sucre, Doranne Beauty, Chyka d MUA and Deji Of Sculpt Faces who will be available to apply the #BBNKit during the launch.

Date: Sunday 14th September 2014
Venue: Silverbird Cinemas, Ahmadu Bello, Victoria Island, Lagos
Time: 10AM (Sampling and Demonstration) | Black Tie Event starts at 4PM

To top it up, Kayla of Cool FM and Uti Nwachukwu of Jara TV will be the hosts of the product launch.

Contact
Website: www.beautifulbrows.com.ng
Email: info@beautifulbrows.com.ng
Call: 01-4537950 or 09095967137
BBPIN: 76C42E56
Twitter: @beautibrowsng
Facebook :@beautifulbrowsnigeria
Instagram :@beautifulbrowsng
Join The Conversation: #IAMBEAUTIFUL

6Winners , 4Days GiveAways All Just For the biggest launch in the makeup Industry BEAUTIFUL BROWS NIGERIA #IAMBeautiful

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Unfortunate Akpors

Akpors wanted to be rich and decided to seek help from a native doctor.

The native doctor told him that he will be the richest man on earth on the condition that he will be mad for one full year; a very difficult condition but the results will be amazing he explained. Akpors thought about it for a while and then agreed.

Akpors became mad and was roaming the street for eleven months and thirty days remaining just one day for his plight to be over, but unfortunately for him, a pastor from no where came and cast the spirit of madness out of him!

If you were Akpors, what would you do to this pastor?

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Akpors the horrible houseboy

A lady was in need of a house boy, Papa Akpors had gotten fed up of Akpors’ wahala that he decided to offer up his son. The lady said to Papa Akpors: I need someone who will be obedient and not pry into my business or talk about whatever I do in my house, I also need him to be smart, does your son have these qualities? Papa Akpors: Oh yea, Akpors is a sharp boy, just test him.
Then the lady said to Akpors, “young man, how do i look?” Akpors looked at her well and replied: “you look like a prostitute”. The lady turned to his father and said “I can’t take such a rude boy”. The father pleaded with her to wait a little, he took Akpors to the back of the house and gave him 10 strokes of can, then he said to him: “insult that lady one more time and i will give you 10 more strokes of the cane.
He took Akpors back to the lady and said “please madam ask him another question.
Lady: If i come home with a man, who is he?
Akpors: Your husband.
Lady: 2 men?
Akpors: Your husband and his brother.
Lady: 3 men?
Akpors: Your husband, his brother and your brother.
Lady: 4 men?
Akpors: (turns to his father) Papa, abeg, bring your cane and give me 20 more strokes, I already told you, this woman is a PROSTITUTE oh!

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Akpors 10k

Akpors chatting with his Girlfriend:

Girlfriend: Hi Akpors: How are u?

Girlfriend: I’m not alright.

Akpors: Ooh, you know i love you…what is the problem?

Girlfriend: Please, can you send me just 10k.

Akpors: For what?

Girlfriend: I want to use it to buy some clothes and bags.

Akpors: Hmmmm, that’s my girl. Take it…K,K,K,K,K,K,K,K,K & K. Please confirm that the ‘Ks’ are up to 10, or do you want More?

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Ebola: FIFA Pledges Financial Support to West African Countries Affected

Lagos (NAN) President of the International Federation of Football Associations (FIFA), Sepp Blatter, on Saturday said the organization would give full support to three West African countries heavily hit by the Ebola Virus Disease.

According to “Inside Games,” an online news provider, Blatter made the pledge at FIFA headquarters in Zurich, Switzerland.

The publication stated that the world football’s governing body said that the issue would be discussed and agreed upon at its next Finance Committee meeting which would hold in France on Sept. 25.

It said that FIFA had decided to dip into its solidarity fund to help Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone, all impoverished countries in West Africa, whose citizens had been afflicted by the Ebola disease.

“FIFA said that the additional financial support would be spent in solidarity with United Nations (UN) initiative on the fight against the epidemic.

This announcement, the publication said, came as it emerged that the Antoinette Tubman Stadium in Monrovia, the Liberian capital, was to serve as the site for two large-scale Ebola treatment units.

It stated that the stadium had been identified by the World Health Organisation (WHO) as the safest and most effective location for the units.

It also said that FIFA would cover the costs of any damage to the Monrovia pitch that might be caused by the treatment units.

The publication also quoted Wilfried Lemke, Special Adviser to the Secretary-General of the UN on Sport for Development and Peace as acknowledging that the Ebola outbreak also had tremendous impact on the sports community.

“National authorities, the UN and the world of sport need to work closely together in order to halt the spread of the disease,” Lemke said.

FIFA recalled that Nigeria, Sierra Leone and Liberia withdrew from the recent Youth Olympic Games in China because of the Ebola crisis.

 

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Akpors and the Aboki

Akpors was hungry and went to ‘mai shayi’ (men selling tea and bread).
The following dialogue transpired between them:
Akpors: You get loaf of bread? Aboki: yes
Akpors: bring one; slice am into two and put two sachet of butter in between
Aboki: (happy and thanking God for bringing customer, is quickly doing as he is instructed). Akpors: You get egg?
Aboki: yes customer
Akpors: fry 6 eggs put am inside the bread. Aboki: Okay customer
Akpors: You get sardine? Aboki: yes customer everything dey.
Akpors: put two sardine inside the bread.
Aboki: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, already enthusiastic he’ll make a lot of money)
Akpors: you don finish? Oya press the bread together for me.
Aboki: See am customer, i don prepare am finish.
Akpors: OYA CUT N10 Naira OWN FOR ME!

If you were the guy what would you do to Akpors?

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“Pistorious is Free to Return to the Track” – Paralympic Committee

Lagos (NAN) The International Paralympic Committee (IPC) said on Friday that Oscar Pistorius, a Paralympic champion found guilty of culpable homicide, is free to compete as soon as he has served his punishment.

The South African sprinter, who shot and killed his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp,on February 14 last year is due to receive his sentence in October from Judge Thokozile Masipa in Pretoria, South Africa.

A statement from the  IPC spokesman, Craig Spence, has confirmed that the athlete will not be barred from returning to the track.

The statement added that the athlete could also participate at the 2016 Paralympic Games in Brazil if he is free by then.

“Yes, we would allow him to compete if he is clear to do so and has served his punishment.

“We have got to allow him to compete once he has satisfied the requirements of the South African legal system.

“Obviously, we have to wait to see what his sentence will be, whether it will be a custodial sentence, and if so, for how long, the stated said.

The IPC spokesman, however, noted that the athlete will face several hurdles ahead of him before returning to the track.

“Can he still reach the qualifying criteria for either the Paralympics or World Championships?

“Will the South African Paralympic Committee [South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee] select him for events? And finally, perhaps most importantly, does Oscar Pistorius want to come back to competing?”.

He added “At the moment we don’t know the answer to any of these questions.

“But regardless of what happens, you can’t question what Oscar has done for the Paralympic Movement.

It said. Pistorius, known as “Blade Runner”, won gold in the T44 200 metres at Athens 2004 before claiming three gold medals at Beijing 2008 in the T44 100m, 200m and 400m.

He also won two gold medals at the London 2012 Paralympics in the T44 400m and the T42-T46 4x 100m relay.

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Akpors and his 3 wishes

Akpors was strolling by a river bank. Suddenly, the river goddess came out from the middle of the river: Goddess: You are in luck today wanderer. I will give you the chance to wish for three things and they shall all come to pass. Akpors who was apparently scared upon seeing the goddess, became very delighted and immediately made his first wish;

Akpors: I need a Jeep! (puff! The Jeep appeared)

Goddess: Two more wishes.

Akpors: (visibly elated) I need a big “Ghana must go bag” full of money. (Puff! A large bag filled with money appeared)

Goddess: Now, your last wish.

Akpors: (salivating at the thought of his last request) Make me very irresistible to women!

(Puff! The Goddess suddenly turns Akpors into a BRAZILIAN HAIR!)

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Akpors the fool

Akpors was having an argument with his Wife when out of annoyance she called him a fool.

Akpors got angry and said, “I cannot be called a fool by a woman, no matter who she is, not even my wife. She must therefore leave my house!”
Neighbors intervened and the matter was resolved. But the Wife still nursed anger.

Later that night, it rained heavily. It was so cold that Akpors wanted to perform his manly duty. Sneaking his hands to touch his Wife’s laps in the dark, the Wife knowing fully well that this was the best time to get back at Akpors for his quarrel during the day shouted, “WHO IS THAT FOOL?!”

Akpors replied, “It is me!”

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