Akpors’ cheque book

Akpors lost his cheque booklet and went to the bank two days after to report it:Mr Akpors (angrily): Shit!!! I lost my cheque bookBank manager: Calm down Mr Akpors, We don’t allow such vulgar words in the bank premises and I warned you to be careful with your cheque book Mr Akpors, because anyone can forge your signature.Mr Akpos: I am not a fool,I have already signed all the cheques,so they won’t have space to forge my signature!Bank Manager: SHITTTTT!!!...

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Which photographer pose pass?

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The Husbands

A group of men gathered at a church conference on how to live in a loving relationship with their wives. The men wereasked, “How many of you love your wife ?” All the men raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your wife you love her ?” Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority didn’t remember. The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wives: I love you, sweetheart.Then the men were told to exchange their phones so one can read the other wife’s reply...

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Cristiano Ronaldo off to NYSC camp

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Akpors and John’s commerce exams

Ebuka told Akpors his Oga at the shop to please wait at the gate and pick him up after his WAEC Commerce exam at the Commercial Secondary School where he registered. He was given Commerce Exam question paper and the only questionhe could answer was question number 3 which said: “Differentiate between a Warehouse and a Shop” (20marks)After much thinking he smiled and wrote his answer as fast as he could: Warehouse is at Ojota while Shop is atAlaba market. Then he submitted his paper and went to meet his Oga at the gate.Oga Akpors: John, how far?...

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Akpors is not so dumb

Akpors enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer:BARBER: This is the dumbest boy in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.The barber puts a N50 note in one hand and two N10 notes in the other, then calls Akpors and says:BARBER: Which do you want, boy?Akpos takes the two N10 notes and leaves.The barber turned to his customer and said, you see, I told you he is really dumb.CUSTOMER: Well I’m guessing he is just a little confused now, he can’t make that mistake twice.BARBER: I really doubt it, just wait and I’ll prove it to you...

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Remember this natural cooler?

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The religious Lady and the atheist

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it.She would stand on her front porch and shout “PRAISE THE LORD!”. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!!”Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted “PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND MESOME PROVISIONS AND AND FOOD ITEMS!!”The next morning the lady went out on...

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Peacock son

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spikedhair which he dyed in different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.The old man just kept staring at him. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finallysaid sarcastically, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “I got drunk once and slept with a peacock. I was just wonderingif you were my ...

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The stranded Christians

Two Christians were stranded in the Sahara desert on their way to Libya.One was called David and the other was called Christian. They were terribly dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what looked like an emirate with a mosque in the middle. David said to Christian “Let’s pretend to be Muslims otherwise we will not get food or drink. I am going to call myself Muhammad Gambo”Christian refused to change his name “My name is Christian and I will not pretend to be what I am not”. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you, replied...

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Angeline Jolie and Brad Pitt Finally Married

According to reports, Hollywood royalty Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who have been together for 9 years and share 6 children, are now marriedThe couple’s publicist said they quietly got married last weekend Saturday 23rd at a very private ceremony attended by family and friends in Chateau Miraval, France. Angie and Brad’s kids are said to have participated in the wedding. Her oldest two sons, Maddox and Pax walked her down the aisle, while their...

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“She is Asking Me Out Now” – Harrysong puts Ex-Girlfriend on Blast

Some ladies stay through the thick and thin, while others just can’t handle the trying times.Music star Harrysong opens up about a relationship with a former flame who he really loved. According to the “Kolombo” act, she couldn’t handle the distance as he pursued his career in Lagos, while she stayed in Warri because she was in a hurry to tie the knot.Harrysong is basically saying every woman should wait for their man.The Net NG“Oh yes,...

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281 Fake NYSC Corps Members Sent Out Of Camp In Niger

281 fake corps members were sent out of the Niger State orientation camp in Paiko after failing to provide authentic documents.Disclosing this yesterday, August 26, at the close of the three weeks orientation exercise, at the camp, the National Youths Service Corps (NYSC) Coordinator in the State, Mr. Steven Ehoda-adi, said the fake corps members who had nothing to show that they were qualified for admission into the camp, were immediately sent away.Mr...

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Must See Photos: Nollywood Actresses And Their Mansions

 Not all of popular Nollywood stars have their own houses. Some of them prefer to spend money on some other things. But some  managed to get their own fancy houses.Genevieve NnajiGenevieve Nnaji is a happy owner of a luxury mansion near Lagos. In 2013 the star moved into the house she bought Park View, Ikoyi home in Lagos State. This area is known for being a place only for the millioners. Actress is one of the richest women in Nigeria...

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Manchester United sign Di Maria For €75 million

The Red Devils have smashed their transfer record to lure the Argentine to Old Trafford, bringing their summer spend to in excess of €160 million as Louis van Gaal rebuildsManchester United have completed the signing of Real Madrid ace Angel Di Maria, who becomes the most expensive signing in Premier League history.The Argentina international, who can play across the frontline and in midfield, moves to Old Trafford in a deal...

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5 Reasons Why We Love Jim Iyke

Jim Iyke (James Ikechukwu Esomugha) is a Nigerian actor and singer-songwriter. He is one of the highest paid Nollywood actors and has featured in  over 150 films.1. Have you listened to Jim Iyke talk in movies? He sounds as if he makes his own lines and completely ignores his scripts. He is so intense! Lol, but I love it.2. Pay attention to some of his infamous poses during interviews. Jim’s legs are always crossed on top of the other,...

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Akpors’ 3 missed calls

Akpors and Ekaitte got tired of spending money on phone network providers and decided to come up with a different means of communication.Akpors: This gsm people dey chop our money too much oh.Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too muchAkpors: I got an idea, instead of using phone, why don’t we use a pigeon in sending messages like the old time, just tie yourmessage to it’s leg if you want to replyEkaitte: I like what is in your head.After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it’s leg’s but nothing there, she sent it back,...

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WEMA Bank To Bar Customers Over Ebola

Following the outbreak of the Ebola Virus Disease, EVD, in Nigeria, many banks have introduced new measures to curtail the spread of dreaded disease.Investigation revealed that among the new preventive measures introduced by some of the Nigerian banks are self-dispensing hand sanitisers, and body temperature scanners at all their branches in the country.Checks also revealed that some of the banks have introduced protective gears for members of its...

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