Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Akpors lost his cheque booklet and went to the bank two days after to report it:
Mr Akpors (angrily): Shit!!! I lost my cheque book
Bank manager: Calm down Mr Akpors, We don’t allow such vulgar words in the bank premises and I warned you to be careful with your cheque book Mr Akpors, because anyone can forge your signature.
Mr Akpos: I am not a fool,I have already signed all the cheques,so they won’t have space to forge my signature!
Bank Manager: SHITTTTT!!!!!!
Ebuka told Akpors his Oga at the shop to please wait at the gate and pick him up after his WAEC Commerce exam at the Commercial Secondary School where he registered. He was given Commerce Exam question paper and the only question
he could answer was question number 3 which said: “Differentiate between a Warehouse and a Shop” (20marks)
After much thinking he smiled and wrote his answer as fast as he could: Warehouse is at Ojota while Shop is at
Alaba market. Then he submitted his paper and went to meet his Oga at the gate.
Oga Akpors: John, how far? How e be?
John: E dey so simple Oga. Question number three say make we differentiate between a warehouse & a shop.
Oga Akpors: Ehen-ehen…Wet in you come write?
John: hmmm. I write say “warehouse dey for Ojota & shop dey for Alaba.
OGA: So na the only thing wey you write be dat? John: Yes Oga
Oga Akpors: Chinekemee!!! U dey craze, common go back go add the phone numbers & our complete address. silly boy! Na so dem take dey get customers!
Akpors enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer:
BARBER: This is the dumbest boy in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a N50 note in one hand and two N10 notes in the other, then calls Akpors and says:
BARBER: Which do you want, boy?
Akpos takes the two N10 notes and leaves.
The barber turned to his customer and said, you see, I told you he is really dumb.
CUSTOMER: Well I’m guessing he is just a little confused now, he can’t make that mistake twice.
BARBER: I really doubt it, just wait and I’ll prove it to you again. (The barber calls Akpors back into the store one more time and offers him the same deal, once again to the surprise of the customer, Akpors picked the 2 N10 notes instead of the N50 note).
BARBER: What did I tell you? Akpos never learns!
Minutes later, when the customer left, he sees Akpors coming out of the ice cream store.
CUSTOMER: Akpors, May I ask you a question? You are obviously old enough to know that 2 N10 notes make up N20 which is less than N50, why do you keep picking the N10 notes instead?
Akpors smiles and says: That barber is always so eager to prove to customers that I am dumb that everyday I get money for ice-cream from his little game. The day I take the fifty naira note, the game will definitely be over, so it’s better I act stupid and collect N20 everyday.
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it.
She would stand on her front porch and shout “PRAISE THE LORD!”. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!!”
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted “PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME
SOME PROVISIONS AND AND FOOD ITEMS!!”
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and found a large bag of provisions and food items, filled with joy she shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD.”
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, “Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries and left them at your door step, God didn’t.”
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, “PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me
provisions, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!”
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked
hair which he dyed in different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just kept staring at him. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally
said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “I got drunk once and slept with a peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my son
Two Christians were stranded in the Sahara desert on their way to Libya.
One was called David and the other was called Christian. They were terribly dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what looked like an emirate with a mosque in the middle. David said to Christian “Let’s pretend to be Muslims otherwise we will not get food or drink. I am going to call myself Muhammad Gambo”
Christian refused to change his name “My name is Christian and I will not pretend to be what I am not”. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you, replied David.
When they got there, the Imam of the Mosque received both of them well and asked for their names. David
said “My name is Muhammad Gambo” while Christian said “My name is Christian”.
The Imam turned to the helpers of the Mosque and said “Please bring some food and water for Christian only.” Then he turned to the other and said “Well Muhammad Gambo, since you are a confirmed Muslim I’m sure you remember that we are still in the month of Ramadan and you can therefore not break your fast now?
David fainted
Some ladies stay through the thick and thin, while others just can’t handle the trying times.
Music star Harrysong opens up about a relationship with a former flame who he really loved. According to the “Kolombo” act, she couldn’t handle the distance as he pursued his career in Lagos, while she stayed in Warri because she was in a hurry to tie the knot.
Harrysong is basically saying every woman should wait for their man.
“Oh yes, I remember when I came to Lagos, I was in a relationship back in Warri, and at that time she gave me the option of coming back to Warri to get married to her because she wasn’t comfortable with the distance or I should face my career and forget about her.So I thought about it, and I begged her to be patient because I had no money, but she said she couldn’t wait because she has other interested guys on her case and her parents wanted her to get married quickly too.
So I wished her luck and kept on hustling with my career in Lagos. just yesterday, the same girl called me asking for asking for a date, apparently she’s still not married.”
Disclosing this yesterday, August 26, at the close of the three weeks orientation exercise, at the camp, the National Youths Service Corps (NYSC) Coordinator in the State, Mr. Steven Ehoda-adi, said the fake corps members who had nothing to show that they were qualified for admission into the camp, were immediately sent away.
Mr Steven said some of the corps members claimed to have been attacked by armed robbers on their way to Minna and their call up letters taken away from them while some said they misplaced their call up letter.
He added that some others presented only photocopies of the call up letter which according to him is not accepted by NYSC authority.
He explained that 230 corps members who were pregnant and nursing mothers were disallowed from taking part in routine orientation exercise in the state.
Leadership reports that the NYSC state coordinator disclosed that 3,259 of the Batch B corps members, 2014, successfully, completed the exercise for their primary assignment in the state.
The NYSC Scheme is for those who have graduated from tertiary institution and for you to partake, a call up letter will be sent to your school. The NYSC scheme has 3 stages, first is a 3 week orientation camp, the Community Development Services (done once a week), and The Place of Primary Assignments, (where each corp member is posted to after the orientation camp and where he is to serve for one year).
Currently, there are 3 batches of corps members every year. The Batch A usually starts from around February period. B people starts around June/July, and C October/November.
Not all of popular Nollywood stars have their own houses. Some of them prefer to spend money on some other things. But some managed to get their own fancy houses.
Genevieve Nnaji
Genevieve Nnaji is a happy owner of a luxury mansion near Lagos. In 2013 the star moved into the house she bought Park View, Ikoyi home in Lagos State. This area is known for being a place only for the millioners. Actress is one of the richest women in Nigeria so it is not so surprising, that she bought a N200 million house. Her new home has a parking, a swimming pool, nice gym, bar, terrace, and boys-quarters at the side.
Luxury mansion of Genevieve Nnaji
Oge Okoye
The mansion of another Nollywood Star Oge Okoye is not ready yet. But star is sharing some news about it, saying that hard work always pays.
Nollywood Star Oge Okoye and her house[/caption]
Cossy Orjiakor
Extravagant and ultra-attractive Nollywood actress Cossy Orjiakor also is an owner of a multimillion mansion. Her massive new home situates in the Lagos suburb as well.
Cossy Orjiakor with her extra expensive appartments
Daniella Okeke
Bright young star is kindly sharing the pictures of her luxury mansion on the social media. Daniella is satisfied of her new role as a landlady.
Daniella Okeke kindly shows her new home on the Instagram
Manchester United have completed the signing of Real Madrid ace Angel Di Maria, who becomes the most expensive signing in Premier League history.The Argentina international, who can play across the frontline and in midfield, moves to Old Trafford in a deal worth €75 million and is now the fifth costliest player ever.
The 26-year-old, who United hope can galvanise a squad that has picked up just a single point from their opening two league matches, has signed a five-year contract worth close to the £300,000-a-week earned by skipper Wayne Rooney.
Including wages, add-ons, bonuses and signing-on fees, the total cost of the deal could rise to as much as €188m.
Di Maria completed his medical on Tuesday having arrived at Carrington with his entourage late in the morning, while his agent had several hours of sit-down talks with executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward in the afternoon to thrash out the final details of the contract.
The 20-time English champions have been chasing Di Maria for several weeks and were given a free run at the Argentine when Paris Saint-Germain pulled out of the race for his signature.
He has been itching for a move away from the Santiago Bernabeu since the arrivals of James Rodriguez and Toni Kroos shunted him down the Madrid pecking order, and was understood to be very keen on working with Louis van Gaal.
Di Maria played a key role for Los Blancos last season as they lifted the Champions League, while he recorded a division-high 17 assists in La Liga before finishing as a runner-up at the World Cup in Brazil.
The big-money deal takes United’s summer spending to in excess of €160m, meaning they have now spent more than any other club in the world this summer, eclipsing Barcelona’s €150m outlay.
They may not be finished there either, with a shaky and dysfunctional defence likely to be reinforced by the possible arrival of Ajax’s Daley Blind, while Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal remains a long-term target.
Jim Iyke (James Ikechukwu Esomugha) is a Nigerian actor and singer-songwriter. He is one of the highest paid Nollywood actors and has featured in
Akpors and Ekaitte got tired of spending money on phone network providers and decided to come up with a different means of communication.
Akpors: This gsm people dey chop our money too much oh.
Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too much
Akpors: I got an idea, instead of using phone, why don’t we use a pigeon in sending messages like the old time, just tie your
message to it’s leg if you want to reply
Ekaitte: I like what is in your head.
After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it’s leg’s but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few minutes it comes back, she quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no message again, she sent it back.
After some few minutes, she opened the window for the pigeon to come in, she checked it’s legs but still no message.
With too much anger, she headed to Akpors house and shouted “Akpors come here, you idiot, you said you will send message through this pigeon but why it has come to me three times without a message.
Akpors: Hahaha, Ekaitte, you don’t understand, that one is 3 missed calls na not message.
Investigation revealed that among the new preventive measures introduced by some of the Nigerian banks are self-dispensing hand sanitisers, and body temperature scanners at all their branches in the country.
Checks also revealed that some of the banks have introduced protective gears for members of its staffs especially those who deal directly with customers.
According to a notice to customers released by WEMA on Monday, 25 August, 2015, the bank said henceforth all customers and visitors to any branch of the bank would be required to use the hand sanitisers and be scanned for symptoms of fever before being admitted into their banking halls.
“In the wake of the recent Ebola Virus Disease outbreak across West Africa, we are compelled to introduce the following preventive health and safety initiatives at all our business locations in order to ensure a safe banking environment for all customers and staff,” the bank stated.
“All customers and visitors are required to use the hand sanitisers and also undergo a quick non-invasive body temperature scan before being allowed into our banking halls and business locations.
“In addition, some of our staff at the more sensitive desks will also be required to wear some protective gears while interacting with customers and other visitors during this period” the statement read.
However, Premium Times reports that the bank did not say if provisions will be made for customers who are denied access due to their body temperature or other health concerns.
A visit to some branches of Guaranty Trust Bank, GTB, also showed that the bank has started implementing new safety measure aimed at curtailing the spread of the Ebola virus.
At the GTB branch on Allen Avenue in Ikeja, Lagos State, customers were scanned for their body temperatures before being allowed into the banking halls by security guards.
Some of the bank workers at the branch were also seen wearing hand gloves and mouth coverings at the teller points.
However, the federal Ministry of Health said it was not informed of the move, considered by some as discriminatory.
A health campaign organization, Projekthope, said the new policy is discriminatory.
“We should all learn to do things right. The presence of Ebola symptoms does not necessarily mean transmission will take place,” said Steve Aborisade, who heads Ibadan-based Projekthope. “And even if we want to be hyper proactive it should be sensitive in ways that will not be discriminatory and which actually stops transmission which is our first purpose.”
However, a medical expert said the bank should go beyond screening and make adequate referral arrangements for customers who may be turned away due to their health.
“I don’t think we should see it in the light of a discriminatory policy, I think they are just trying to act on the side of caution,” said Osahon Enabulele, the immediate past president of the Nigerian Medical Association, NMA.
“The end point should be to aid the referral of such an individual to the nearest health facility for appropriate treatment. And of course, I expect that they should have a medical unit in the bank to quickly evaluate clients that may have suspicious features to properly evaluate them and not just to turn them away,” Mr. Enabulele said.
It would be recalled that the Ebola virus has killed no fewer than five people in Nigeria sincethe late Patrick Sawyer, a Liberian businessman imported the disease to Nigeria.
According to the World Health Organisation, WHO, the Ebola virus has killed at least 1350 people and 2473 cases confirmed since the new outbreak started in February, 2014.
Apart from Nigeria, other West African countries affected by the Ebola outbreak are Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone.
