Akpors’ logic

After writing the most awful exam in his life, Akpors offered his Professor a deal to save his grades:

“If you can answer just one question, I will accept my final marks, if you can’t, you have to give me an ‘A’.”
The Professor agreed.
Akpors asked: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal and neither legal nor logical?”

The Professor thought about it for hours and pondered but found no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave Akpors an “A”.

The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He picked one of them.

The student answered: “Sir, you are 65, married to 28-year-old woman, this is legal, but not logical.
“Your wife is having an affair with a 23-year-old boy, this is logical but not legal.
“Your wife’s boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an “A”, this is neither logical nor legal.”

The professor fainted!

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Beautiful Brows Nigeria launches Makeup Franchise in Africa | Uti & Kayla to Host the Product Launch Event

 

It is indeed a proud moment for Beautiful Brows Nigeria to announce the official launch of the number one franchise of Beautiful Brows UK in Africa beginning with Nigeria. Beautiful Brows is a Specialist UK Cosmetic Company who manufacture and retail bespoke, high quality eyebrow essentials. Beautiful Brows works to ease you the stress of going to the salon or spa to define your brows that’s why we have decided to introduce a #DoItYourSelfBrowKit that helps keep your brows in shape.

Giveaway Campaign
Beautiful Brows Nigeria has decided to do a giveaway campaign which started on Thursday to winners of the #IAMBEAUTIFUL Selfie Competition onInstagram which ends on Saturday 13th of September by 12am. To participate all you need do is to follow the Instagram handle – @beautifulbrowsng then upload a defined brows selfie with the Hashtag #IAMBEAUTIFUL @beautifulbrowsng the most liked picture gets to win at the end of each day. The prize is a free #BBNBrowKit and tickets to the launch.

The Launch Event
There will be Free #BrowMakeOvers and Sampling, Renowned Makeup artistsBayo Haastrup and Lola Maja will be unveiling the Beautiful Brows Kit alongside celebrity makeup artist Dave Sucre, Doranne Beauty, Chyka d MUA and Deji Of Sculpt Faces who will be available to apply the #BBNKit during the launch.

Date: Sunday 14th September 2014
Venue: Silverbird Cinemas, Ahmadu Bello, Victoria Island, Lagos
Time: 10AM (Sampling and Demonstration) | Black Tie Event starts at 4PM

To top it up, Kayla of Cool FM and Uti Nwachukwu of Jara TV will be the hosts of the product launch.

Contact
Website: www.beautifulbrows.com.ng
Email: info@beautifulbrows.com.ng
Call: 01-4537950 or 09095967137
BBPIN: 76C42E56
Twitter: @beautibrowsng
Facebook :@beautifulbrowsnigeria
Instagram :@beautifulbrowsng
Join The Conversation: #IAMBEAUTIFUL

6Winners , 4Days GiveAways All Just For the biggest launch in the makeup Industry BEAUTIFUL BROWS NIGERIA #IAMBeautiful

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Unfortunate Akpors

Akpors wanted to be rich and decided to seek help from a native doctor.

The native doctor told him that he will be the richest man on earth on the condition that he will be mad for one full year; a very difficult condition but the results will be amazing he explained. Akpors thought about it for a while and then agreed.

Akpors became mad and was roaming the street for eleven months and thirty days remaining just one day for his plight to be over, but unfortunately for him, a pastor from no where came and cast the spirit of madness out of him!

If you were Akpors, what would you do to this pastor?

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Akpors the horrible houseboy

A lady was in need of a house boy, Papa Akpors had gotten fed up of Akpors’ wahala that he decided to offer up his son. The lady said to Papa Akpors: I need someone who will be obedient and not pry into my business or talk about whatever I do in my house, I also need him to be smart, does your son have these qualities? Papa Akpors: Oh yea, Akpors is a sharp boy, just test him.
Then the lady said to Akpors, “young man, how do i look?” Akpors looked at her well and replied: “you look like a prostitute”. The lady turned to his father and said “I can’t take such a rude boy”. The father pleaded with her to wait a little, he took Akpors to the back of the house and gave him 10 strokes of can, then he said to him: “insult that lady one more time and i will give you 10 more strokes of the cane.
He took Akpors back to the lady and said “please madam ask him another question.
Lady: If i come home with a man, who is he?
Akpors: Your husband.
Lady: 2 men?
Akpors: Your husband and his brother.
Lady: 3 men?
Akpors: Your husband, his brother and your brother.
Lady: 4 men?
Akpors: (turns to his father) Papa, abeg, bring your cane and give me 20 more strokes, I already told you, this woman is a PROSTITUTE oh!

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Akpors 10k

Akpors chatting with his Girlfriend:

Girlfriend: Hi Akpors: How are u?

Girlfriend: I’m not alright.

Akpors: Ooh, you know i love you…what is the problem?

Girlfriend: Please, can you send me just 10k.

Akpors: For what?

Girlfriend: I want to use it to buy some clothes and bags.

Akpors: Hmmmm, that’s my girl. Take it…K,K,K,K,K,K,K,K,K & K. Please confirm that the ‘Ks’ are up to 10, or do you want More?

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Ebola: FIFA Pledges Financial Support to West African Countries Affected

Lagos (NAN) President of the International Federation of Football Associations (FIFA), Sepp Blatter, on Saturday said the organization would give full support to three West African countries heavily hit by the Ebola Virus Disease.

According to “Inside Games,” an online news provider, Blatter made the pledge at FIFA headquarters in Zurich, Switzerland.

The publication stated that the world football’s governing body said that the issue would be discussed and agreed upon at its next Finance Committee meeting which would hold in France on Sept. 25.

It said that FIFA had decided to dip into its solidarity fund to help Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone, all impoverished countries in West Africa, whose citizens had been afflicted by the Ebola disease.

“FIFA said that the additional financial support would be spent in solidarity with United Nations (UN) initiative on the fight against the epidemic.

This announcement, the publication said, came as it emerged that the Antoinette Tubman Stadium in Monrovia, the Liberian capital, was to serve as the site for two large-scale Ebola treatment units.

It stated that the stadium had been identified by the World Health Organisation (WHO) as the safest and most effective location for the units.

It also said that FIFA would cover the costs of any damage to the Monrovia pitch that might be caused by the treatment units.

The publication also quoted Wilfried Lemke, Special Adviser to the Secretary-General of the UN on Sport for Development and Peace as acknowledging that the Ebola outbreak also had tremendous impact on the sports community.

“National authorities, the UN and the world of sport need to work closely together in order to halt the spread of the disease,” Lemke said.

FIFA recalled that Nigeria, Sierra Leone and Liberia withdrew from the recent Youth Olympic Games in China because of the Ebola crisis.

 

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Akpors and the Aboki

Akpors was hungry and went to ‘mai shayi’ (men selling tea and bread).
The following dialogue transpired between them:
Akpors: You get loaf of bread? Aboki: yes
Akpors: bring one; slice am into two and put two sachet of butter in between
Aboki: (happy and thanking God for bringing customer, is quickly doing as he is instructed). Akpors: You get egg?
Aboki: yes customer
Akpors: fry 6 eggs put am inside the bread. Aboki: Okay customer
Akpors: You get sardine? Aboki: yes customer everything dey.
Akpors: put two sardine inside the bread.
Aboki: Okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, already enthusiastic he’ll make a lot of money)
Akpors: you don finish? Oya press the bread together for me.
Aboki: See am customer, i don prepare am finish.
Akpors: OYA CUT N10 Naira OWN FOR ME!

If you were the guy what would you do to Akpors?

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“Pistorious is Free to Return to the Track” – Paralympic Committee

Lagos (NAN) The International Paralympic Committee (IPC) said on Friday that Oscar Pistorius, a Paralympic champion found guilty of culpable homicide, is free to compete as soon as he has served his punishment.

The South African sprinter, who shot and killed his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp,on February 14 last year is due to receive his sentence in October from Judge Thokozile Masipa in Pretoria, South Africa.

A statement from the  IPC spokesman, Craig Spence, has confirmed that the athlete will not be barred from returning to the track.

The statement added that the athlete could also participate at the 2016 Paralympic Games in Brazil if he is free by then.

“Yes, we would allow him to compete if he is clear to do so and has served his punishment.

“We have got to allow him to compete once he has satisfied the requirements of the South African legal system.

“Obviously, we have to wait to see what his sentence will be, whether it will be a custodial sentence, and if so, for how long, the stated said.

The IPC spokesman, however, noted that the athlete will face several hurdles ahead of him before returning to the track.

“Can he still reach the qualifying criteria for either the Paralympics or World Championships?

“Will the South African Paralympic Committee [South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee] select him for events? And finally, perhaps most importantly, does Oscar Pistorius want to come back to competing?”.

He added “At the moment we don’t know the answer to any of these questions.

“But regardless of what happens, you can’t question what Oscar has done for the Paralympic Movement.

It said. Pistorius, known as “Blade Runner”, won gold in the T44 200 metres at Athens 2004 before claiming three gold medals at Beijing 2008 in the T44 100m, 200m and 400m.

He also won two gold medals at the London 2012 Paralympics in the T44 400m and the T42-T46 4x 100m relay.

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Akpors and his 3 wishes

Akpors was strolling by a river bank. Suddenly, the river goddess came out from the middle of the river: Goddess: You are in luck today wanderer. I will give you the chance to wish for three things and they shall all come to pass. Akpors who was apparently scared upon seeing the goddess, became very delighted and immediately made his first wish;

Akpors: I need a Jeep! (puff! The Jeep appeared)

Goddess: Two more wishes.

Akpors: (visibly elated) I need a big “Ghana must go bag” full of money. (Puff! A large bag filled with money appeared)

Goddess: Now, your last wish.

Akpors: (salivating at the thought of his last request) Make me very irresistible to women!

(Puff! The Goddess suddenly turns Akpors into a BRAZILIAN HAIR!)

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Akpors the fool

Akpors was having an argument with his Wife when out of annoyance she called him a fool.

Akpors got angry and said, “I cannot be called a fool by a woman, no matter who she is, not even my wife. She must therefore leave my house!”
Neighbors intervened and the matter was resolved. But the Wife still nursed anger.

Later that night, it rained heavily. It was so cold that Akpors wanted to perform his manly duty. Sneaking his hands to touch his Wife’s laps in the dark, the Wife knowing fully well that this was the best time to get back at Akpors for his quarrel during the day shouted, “WHO IS THAT FOOL?!”

Akpors replied, “It is me!”

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See inside America’s most Expensive House for Sale at $139million

Who wan buy? America’s most expensive home is up for sale and it could be all yours for just $139m

The massive estate named ‘Le Palais Royal’ – The Royal Palace, is situated in the seafront of Millionaires Mile, Hillsboro Beach, Florida. It boasts of a 22-carat gold leaf gate, a $2million marble staircase and the first-ever IMAX Theatre to be contracted for private use.

The estate, which spans over 60,000 square feet, comes complete with 11 bedrooms, 17 bathrooms, 4,500-square-foot pool, a 12-foot cascading waterfall, double loop LED-lit waterslide, fire pit, swim-up bar for outdoor entertaining, a 492-foot private dock that can accommodate up to a 185-foot mega yacht and an underground garage with parking for over 30 cars.

It is the most expensive home publicly listed for sale in the US. See inside the house

 

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Hmmmm!!! Synagogue Did Not Allow To Us Save Lives — NEMA

 The National Emergency management Agency, NEMA has revealed that the Synagogue of Nations Church stopped them from doing their job.

This was revealed by the spokesperson of the agency, Ibrahim Familoye who talked to PREMIUM TIMES on last night.

[caption id="attachment_1559" align="aligncenter" width="560"] scoan guest house[/caption]

The two storey building was being remodeled with extra three three floors being added.

READ MORE: TOP 5 Wierd Actions Of Nigerian Pastors

The agency, FEMA indicated that many where dead and about 20 others injured.

READ ALSO: TB Joshua’s ‘Anointing Sticker’ Saved Me – Survivor

NEMA said:“The church members attacked us,”. “First responders ran away for their own safety. I don’t know what they’re hiding, they said they are capable of handling the situation but they doing a shoddy job of it. People are still trapped in the rubble.

 

READ ALSO:“Crisis Will Start” – TB Joshua’s Warning Message

“If we were allowed to work we would have worked all night but the safety of the emergency responders comes first. If they can attack us in the day, there is no knowing what they would do at night.”

According to TheNation, the Public Relations Officer of the Lagos State Emergency Management Authority, Friday Adeboayo,  had revealed the number of dead to be around, adding that rescue operations to evacuate the injured persons would go on.

At the same time, Punch put the number of the deceased to 50.

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Photo: Zeus the World’s Tallest Dog dies Just Before his 6th Birthday

The World’s tallest dog has died just days before his 6th birthday. Zeus was 3ft 6 inches tall at the shoulder and when he stood on his back legs was an incredible 7ft 4in high. He weighed 11 stone.

The giant Great Dane, who was named the world’s tallest living dog in the 2012 Guinness World Records, died on September 3rd. He lived in Michigan, US, with his owners before his passing.

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I See No Reason Why Schools Should Remain Closed – Health Minister

Health Minister, Prof. Onyebuchi Chukwu had yesterday revealed that there really is no reason school should remain closed after september. 

[caption id="attachment_1550" align="aligncenter" width="580"] Nigeria’s Health Minister Onyebuchi Chukwu addresses diplomatic envoys on the status of the Ebola disease control in Nigeria at the Foreign Affairs House in Abuja August 7, 2014. REUTERS/Afolabi Sotunde[/caption]

He was talking in a media briefing in Lagos and said: “It is for the commissioners of education to advise the principals, at least for public schools, as well as private schools on when they can reopen. “The ministry of health is like what the weather people are to the nation.

READ ALSO: The Untold Story Of Ebola Virus

“They will tell you that the weather will be sunny, stormy or there will be heavy downpour, but they can never directly, for example, stop any plane from flying.

“It is for the aviation people to take the advice and combine with other factors to decide whether flights will take off or not.

READ ALSO: Nigeria’s Economy Triumphs Over Ebola

He went on to reassure parent and the society that soon their loved one could go back to school and start their studies.

He said: “So, I want to make it clear that from the technical point of view, there is absolutely no reason why any school, except if they have other problems that are not medical, cannot reopen”.

READ ALSO: Ebola Survivor’s Blood Used To Treat Infected American

“So, when the minister of education, working with the commissioners of education, said they have revised the opening of schools from 13th Oct to 22nd of Sept., we have nothing against that.
“ If we did, we would have objected or let them know,’’ he said.

READ ALSO: South African Traveler Tested For Ebola In Lagos

Chukwu also stated that students resuming would be taught about EVD and how to avoid gettin ill.

He said: “It will even give us opportunity to teach the children what EVD is all about.
“ It is going to offer us opportunity to reinforce what we are already teaching their teachers because the teachers are going through programmes on how they should handle children who are sick.
“You notice that Nigeria has not closed any market, church, mosque and children follow their parents to these places.

READ ALSO: South African Traveler Tested For Ebola In Lagos

“So it doesn’t simply make any sense yet to continue shutting down the schools,’’ he said.

Chukwu said that people should not relax as EVD was being contained.
“Luckily, we are still winning. Schools have to reopen. But that doesn’t mean we should go to sleep.
“We know now that there is no place in Nigeria now that we are treating anyone for EVD, but we have not started celebrating yet for the simple reason that we have not yet won the war.
“We do not want surprises.
“No one for now has active EVD in Nigeria, but that is not to say that will be surprised if we have one tomorrow,’’ Chukwu said.

Health minister, Prof Onyebuchi Chukwu has been praised for his ministry’s hard work and effective control and contain of the deadly Ebola virus in the nation by several critics.

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Soldiers Kill 150 Boko Haram Members During attack on Konduga

At least 150 Boko Haram members were killed yesterday September 12th after the Nigerian Military repeled after an attempted attack by the sect members on Konduga, a village said to be about 35 kilometres from Maiduguri in Borno State, in the early hours of yesterday.

According to a statement issued in Abuja yesterday by Col. T. Antigha of the Army Public Relations, the battle with sect members lasted three hour and four soldiers were injured during the attack. 

“At about 5.30 am today (Friday), Boko Haram terrorists launched a massive attack on Konduga town, about 35 kilometres from Maiduguri. After about three hours of fierce fighting, Nigerian troops routed the Boko Haram fighting force of over a hundred terrorists. Further to the staggering loss of men, Boko Haram also suffered extensive losses in equipment. Four Nigerian soldiers were wounded in action. The entire area is still being combed for terrorists who may have escaped with bullet wounds. Morale of troops remains very high.” the statement reads. Continue…

The Nigerian Army also said that photographs taken from the scene of the attack will be circulated once they finish processing them.

According to a military source at the 7 Division of the Nigerian Army in Maiduguri, three Hilux vans and one other Buffalo vehicle with mounted anti-aircraft guns, three general purpose machine guns and over 30 AK 47 rifles were recovered from the terrorists.

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Photos: Lagos-Ibadan expressway Accident Claims Innocent Lives

Nine innocent souls including a child lost their lives this morning at the Lagos-Ibadan expressway.

[caption id="attachment_1541" align="aligncenter" width="480"] Lagos Ibadan accident[/caption]

According to eyewitnesses on  the scene, they reported that two Mazda cars had collided with a Petrol Tanker which then exploded.



 

The Nigeria Fire Service, police and Federal Road Safety Commission have immediately reported to the scene of the crash and are said to be managing the horrid situation.

The fire service has put out the fire but traffic at the area is still at a standstill.

The Federal Road Safety Commission has reported on the situation through their facebook page.

They have reported that the run away driver of the Volvo trailer with registration No: XN350AGL belonging to BHN Logistics said to have been responsible for the crash has been apprehended.

The run away driver was caught about 10km from the scene of the crash, the truck has been impounded and the driver will be charged to court later today.

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Doctor who Performed Throat procedure on Joan Rivers Sacked

And the drama unfolds.

TMZ

just broke the news that the doctor who performed the endoscopy on late legendary comedian Joan Rivers at Yorkville Endoscopy, NY, has been fired by the clinic’s board.

Dr. Lawrence Cohen stepped down after the board asked him to do so – however, the board isn’t directly blaming him for Joan’s death.A rep for the clinic confirmed he was ousted from his position as medical director. According to our sources … the board’s issue with Cohen is that he allowed Joan’s doc to step in and perform an unauthorized procedure. Reportedly, that procedure was a biopsy … and Joan went into respiratory and cardiac arrest while it was being done. Cohen is a world renowned gastroenterologist … and also co-owner of Yorkville. He’s been on administrative leave since Joan’s procedure on August 28.

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Photo: Rita Dominic Shares Wedding Picture of her Late Parents

It was Rita’s late mum’s birthday yesterday so she shared this pic of her late parents on their wedding day many decades ago, as she wished her mum a happy birthday. Her mum was beautiful….

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